Fate intervened yesterday and kept me from purchasing a sofa for the porch with my credit card. After fate kept me from making that mistake I realized I was equating a Material Good to an ideal life/happiness.
Since 2005, when I purchased my home, I have wanted a comfy conversational set or sofa for my tiny three season room. Every year I spend time looking at outdoor furniture, testing for comfort, watching the sales, and then walk away. Outdoor furniture sets cost over $500 for anything comfortable and mildly attractive. Yesterday, I went to Sears and found a sofa for the porch, 40% off for $346. I decided to order it online and hurried home to make my purchase and found they were out of stock at every Sears store within a 50 mile radius.
I still don’t have any furniture to sit on in that room. It drives me bonkers that I can’t utilize the porch the way I see it in my imagination. I have some camp chairs that I keep on the deck and sometimes bring into the porch, but they are not that comfortable and I don’t last long sitting in them reading. Which, truth be told, is all I’d probably do is lay/sit on the sofa and read. But in my imagination that sofa means so much more;
I imagine sitting on my enclosed porch with a significant other in the evenings and mornings, reading and sipping coffee. I imagine intimate gatherings of friends on the porch with wine and beer and laughter. Somehow, in my mind, if I buy that couch those things will magically happen. This is not the first time this type of thinking has spurred me to spend money I didn’t have. I am the owner of a lovely sectional that seats seven. Guess how many times I’ve had seven people over at once? Zero!
Instead, I should be focusing on making those imagined events a reality because “if you buy it…..they will not come”.
Do other people think; if they have the material things in place, then the imagined lifestyle, wonderful moments, relationships will follow?
Even if I bought that sofa (which I still want and if I save and pay cash I can buy), all it means is I have a place to sit in the mornings and evenings on my own. The sofa might get used often or it might just end up being one more thing I sell in a couple of years that “I had to have” that I never use.
After all, none of that imagined lifestyle, those gatherings, or a relationship come included with the price of the couch. I have to make that happen on my own.