Revealing Debt to Significant Others

Since I have been with my boyfriend I have dropped hints that my financial situation is not great.  I felt guilty not revealing it right away, like I was hiding something from him.  I really wasn’t trying to hide my debt problems, I just wasn’t sure how early in the relationship to bring it up.  He is not debt free, but has very little in comparison, simply a mortgage and a car payment that is almost paid.

Last night he flat-out asked me if I had financial problems and I told him yes. I didn’t go into specifics on amounts, which at this point might freak him out a bit.  I did explain to him that I had a lot of debt and that I was doing everything in power to get myself out of it.  He knows me pretty well and isn’t worried that I will go shopping randomly and spend myself into even more debt.  It also turns out I am saving more than him right now.

We have been talking on occasion about potentially marrying in the future, surprisingly he is the one that initiates that conversation.  I mentioned the possibility of getting a prenuptial agreement to protect him from all my liabilities and keeping our finances separate at least until I have paid things off.  We also both own homes which might be a problem in the future as I try to sell mine and potentially incur more debt.  My home is cheaper, but way too small for two people and three dogs.

I don’t know if we will end up marrying, but we are both so practical that we can talk about it now even though it is only four months into the relationship, but then we have also known each other for years.

I really worried about when to reveal my debt issues, but it turns out we are such good friends that the talk has just evolved naturally.  I think that may be a good omen!

2 responses to “Revealing Debt to Significant Others

  • Vicki

    That is so great that you are able to tell him about your situation. I believe your being friends as well as romantic partners helped him understand and be supportive. Congrats. It looks like things are really looking up for you.

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