On Friday night, I finally revealed the actual amount of my debts to my soon-to-be live-in boyfriend. It was really hard and turned out to be more than twice what he thought it would be.
We had a very good discussion about how much money I would contribute to the household expenses, which will not be fifty-fifty. That was probably the hardest part for me, not splitting the expenses evenly. I am always so concerned about “paying my share”. I don’t want to feel I am taking advantage or not pulling my weight.
I will be paying $200 toward the mortgage, the full water bill, and we will split the rest of the utilities and groceries. He pointed out that I actually save him money, beyond my contribution, by shopping with coupons, cooking, and looking for deals. He would rather I put the money I save toward paying off my debt faster. It took awhile to sink in that he has a vested interest in my eliminating debt. I haven’t had anyone who was affected by my decisions before now. It makes things more complicated, but makes me more accountable.
We do plan to marry someday, otherwise I wouldn’t be moving in, just not for a year or two. My goal is to have only my student loan debt left when that happens. I hope it wasn’t a mistake to show the actual numbers and that it doesn’t lead to a constant monitoring of my spending habits. I just wanted our eyes to be as open as possible going into this arrangement.
He was very supportive and is still completely on board with this move! I am surprised the moving truck hasn’t arrived yet!